Comments for Nancy Quay, LMSW

Comment on “Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear…” by nquay

nquay — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 15:59:12 +0000

You’re right, it can be really hard to see patterns from one’s present stance. One thing that might help is to develop a list of ‘red flags’ as clues that history may be repeating itself. Those can be really small indicators (unlike recognizing a pattern, which involves many variables). A couple that spring to my mind that fit relationships in general: pay attention to how your new partner ended former relationships…what events or triggers ended the prior relationship, and if your new partner has had more than one prior relationship, is there a pattern to the difficulties encountered? Then look at your own interactions with the person, and look for parallels (maybe there won’t be any!). Another that I favor is to observe how your partner treats service people…servers in restaurants, airline personnel, coffee shop baristas. In my experience, people who treat service people badly will often end up treating their partner badly after the newness of the relationship has worn off. Hope these tips help!

Comment on “Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear…” by Puck16

Puck16 — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 17:00:58 +0000

Good advice; however, sometimes we can’t always recognize that “deja vu” feeling or the eye-rolling from loved ones for what they are. Leslie Poles Hartley’s quote “The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there” is often how people feel about the not-so-great decisions they’ve made in the past. This can make it harder to see the present situation for its repetitiousness. Even though reality may be more like Confucius’ “Study the past if you would divine the future”, we can’t always see that far back or that far ahead in our own lives. How can one break a cycle they’re having difficulty recognizing?

Comment on From “What’s in Your Wallet” to “What’s on Your Bookshelf” by smarcy

smarcy — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:26:49 +0000

I would like to suggest Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers.

Comment on Why Therapy Still Matters by therapist

therapist — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 01:27:30 +0000

Therapy is still relevant even in today’s ever changing world. I always feel so much better when I have had the chance to talk things over with my counselor as he has made a huge difference in my own life and has changed my outlook on life for the better. I appreciate all that this field has done for me and I sincerely hope that others will take the time to discover what therapy sessions can do for them as well. There does not have to be some tragic or dramatic event that drives you to therapy just a need to make a positive change in your life. That is why I started and it has been one of the most beneficial things I think I have ever done for myself.

Comment on Ready or Not, Here It Comes by nquay

nquay — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 13:44:53 +0000

Thank you for adding your comment…reading this morning’s newspaper (Nov. 20) is not very encouraging. Looks like the Detroit Big 3 may be left to save themselves…or not…and even more people will be adversely affected over the next few months. Truly a time to build and nurture our communities to support one another!

Comment on Ready or Not, Here It Comes by therapy

therapy — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 13:07:09 +0000

Getting laid off from your job especially at this time of the year can be terribly difficult to manage. There are so many things going on in your head, from financial worries to general thoughts of what others are going to think about you now that you are unemployed. I have been there before and believe me it is not fun. But i think that the advice that you presented is very good and hopefully there will come a time very soon in the economic future that we can all stop worrying about that quite so much. But as always it is better to plan ahead and have something to fall back on should this ever happen to you.

Comment on Subterranean Grief by Sherry

Sherry — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 15:28:33 +0000

So true! It took me quite a while to acknowledge and deal with my grief in leaving Parke-Davis/Pfizer. It took me much less time to get over U-M. Very helpful essay with good suggestions. Thanks!