Share Yourself

So it’s been a week since Pfizer threw the huge boulder called “Site Closing” into our communities, and the ripples are starting to reach all sides of the pond. One of the first “shores” to react was the community service agencies that rely on Pfizer money and people-power to help fellow citizens. In our county, the numbers are huge–millions of dollars out of the United Way agency alone plus the potential loss of over 2,400 employees who dedicate hours of service.

Money is the New Time

You’ve probably heard the expression “50 is the new 40″, or “60 is the new 50″. It means that with the help of technology and pure numbers–the Baby Boomers are aging–the things we used to be able to do at 40, we now expect to do at 50 (climbing mountains is one example). At 60, people consider new careers, a change from the past when 60 meant looking forward to retirement, travel, and endless rounds of golf.

In many cases, giving money has replaced giving time. Time, time, time–always seemingly in shorter supply than the tasks available to fill it. In a place like Ann Arbor, where there have been many people with pretty good jobs and discretionary income, it has been easier to find money than to find mentors, or motor meal delivery drivers, or PTA members.

We Need to Shift

It’s a bad time to be out of work. It’s a really bad time to be out of money. Winter days (at least in the Midwest) are often dark and cold. The combination of a lack of work, a lack of money, and bad weather lead plenty of people to therapy offices. That’s fine–after all, I’m a therapist–but I think it’s equally important to consider what else you can do if you’re caught in the latest business morass.

Here’s an idea: shift into a new gear. Time on your hands can be time spent helping others. Give a call to find places that need you. Take a break from your worries and anxiety, and spend time with other people. People matter; you matter. The unique person who is you will always be worth more than your checkbook.

Share your time.

Share your heart.

Share yourself.

January 31st, 2007 - Posted in Health: Emotional, Physical, Mental, Spiritual | | 0 Comments

Boundaries

I’ve been thinking about boundaries today since someone crossed mine and I had my usual knee-jerk furious reaction. “How dare they? Can’t they see they’ve gone way over the line here?”

Now that I’m a little cooled off, I’m wondering if the notion of good boundaries, good fences making good neighbors (Robert Frost), ‘yours’ and ‘mine’ versus ‘ours’ is just plain old-fashioned.

Maintaining good boundaries is something with which many of my clients struggle. “What’s my issue?” “What’s his/her issue?” “Where do you draw the line?” and often, “What do you do when someone crosses it?”

So what makes keeping good boundaries so doggone hard? I think I’ve come to one conclusion. Electronics have changed our boundaries significantly.

Consider the world we live in today:

• Cell phones–we can get that call, 24/7, 365 days per year
• Email–communication within seconds, minutes, or hours versus waiting at least a day for the mail carrier to show up
• AIM–in case you don’t have time to wait for an email, try an Instant Message
• Internet–global information at our fingertips–no need for the library with its restricted hours, travel to get there, etc.
• GPS units–no loss of time wandering around a new area in a bemused daze, now you can get to where you need to go right now

For many of my clients, these things represent the world they’ve always known. There are no such “boundaries” as city limits, state lines, and country borders. At the click of a key, we can talk to people anywhere in the world, at any time. No wonder it’s so hard to remember to respect someone else’s emotional boundaries when the physical ones are no longer even visible!

On the other hand–think about what we’ve gained by entering into this kind of global communication. Example: yesterday, here in Michigan, I received website help within minutes from a fellow therapist hundreds of miles away in Texas (thanks, Cynthia McKenna!).

Write and tell me about your global connections!

January 19th, 2007 - Posted in Health: Emotional, Physical, Mental, Spiritual | | 0 Comments