“Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear…”
Anyone who has driven a car manufactured in the past 15 years probably knows where I got the title for this entry. The famous (and at times infamous) statement on each and every passenger-side rear view mirror includes it…so much so that most of us don’t even really see it anymore.
It occurred to me yesterday that maybe we should all have the same statement inscribed on our minds as we blip along through life repeating past mistakes, i.e. not ‘looking behind us’–or should I say past ‘patterns’ to make it sound more therapeutic?
The fact is, I often forget until I’m in that familiar ‘uh, oh’ spot that I do indeed have plenty of evidence from the past that whatever I’m doing is a bad, bad idea. No matter how much I dress it up–and given my hours and hours of clinical training, I can dress it up with the best of ‘em.
And how distressing it is to recognize that our house pets are smarter than we are at staying away from past errors. While they may be operating from instinct, we humans think too much.
Therefore, I’m passing along some tips help you stay out of those repetitive patterns that can cause so much misery:
- In a new situation, if it feels familiar (that old ‘deja vu’ feeling) ask yourself tough questions, like ‘Have I been here before?’ ‘What happened then?’ ‘What’s going on in my present life that’s led me back to this former place?’
- Once you recognize you’re back in that spot, leave sooner this time…whether it’s a relationship, a job, or some other situation. Really, after the first misery, how much more do you need?
- If your friends and family begin to roll their eyes as you’re describing your latest dilemma…or worse, walk away…there’s a clue here. Ask them! It’s often easier for the people around us to see where we’re going astray than to see it from inside, where we are.
- If you’re on time number 3 or more for this same pattern, consider talking it through with a trusted friend, adviser, counselor, or spiritual leader. Again, that external, disengaged viewpoint can be really helpful.
February 17th, 2009 - Posted in Health: Emotional, Physical, Mental, Spiritual | | 2 Comments